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Rules for Women to
Get Along with Men!

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Life Rules As Written By Mighty Men!

Stolen from the Secret Society Of Men VS Women!

Rule # 1:
Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. We thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation.

Rule # 2:
If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Rule # 3:
If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

Rule # 4:
Please practice the art of self-quizzing. It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule # 5:
Let us ogle. It's in your best interest. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are? Should we start to drool or inexplicably commence to panting, you have permission to give us that standard fisted punch in the arm.

Rule # 6:
Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

Rule # 7:
Females can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.

Rule # 8:
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

Rule # 9:
Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

Rule # 10:
Women who wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their chest stared at.

Rule # 11:
When men are turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.

Rule # 12:
Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

Rule # 13:
Obey these rules and worship up at least slightly, and we'll get along just peachy.

Thanks Again For Your Anticipated Cooperation, Ladies!

Sincerely yours,

The Guys


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